Twice Cursed Read online

  Lily tilted her head and glanced up at him, her heart skipping a beat in the process. He was everything she wanted and more. So why was she doing this? Indecision reigned, and she opened her mouth, but no words came, so she just nodded.

  Now wasn’t the time to let hormones and heartstrings sway what they both knew was the right thing. Lily blinked back the apprehension she knew shined alongside her determination. In the past, she may have been reckless in her decisions, either flying by the seat of her pants, or flying off the handle. After losing Terry, her selfishness had changed to an all-consuming anger and a need for revenge. She wanted to shred whatever it was that made her feel vulnerable. But things had changed again, and she blinked back her fear not out of denial, but so as not to give Parr the advantage.

  Fear wasn’t a weakness, and it didn’t mean she was losing her edge, it simply meant she had finally found a reason worth fighting for, even if it had to be done at a distance— for now. Sean was her reason for fighting. Her only reason.

  They walked arm and arm to the car, as Rissa stood on the porch with Stephanie and waved. Sean stayed at the edge of the drive as they pulled away, and as she watched his face, her heart squeezed in her chest. She glanced across the gravel and grass to her friend, and the little girl she had wrapped in her arms, and prayed Sean would find a way to end this mess, and soon.

  Chapter Three

  ***

  Jack Cochran pulled Lily’s Mustang up to the light at West 50th Street and 12th Avenue. The car idled while they sat in traffic adjacent to the Manhattan Cruise Ship Terminal. Two large passenger ships sat majestically to their right, while uniformed police wearing bright orange transit authority vests, directed people and their luggage across the busy thoroughfare.

  “Looks like New York’s winter cruise season is in full swing,” Lily commented, looking at the crowds heading toward the departure terminal at Pier 90.

  Leaning back in his seat, Jack stretched. “Why anyone would want to take to the sea in the middle of February is beyond me.” Rolling his shoulders, he flexed his fingers, letting the blood flow back through his joints before dropping his hands back onto the steering wheel.

  “You okay?” Lily asked, taking a sip from her coffee. They had been driving for hours, and traffic hadn’t cooperated at all since they’d hit the interstate outside of York, Maine. Making a face, she turned from side to side looking for a place to spit. She rolled down the window and leaned her head over the edge of the glass, but with a traffic cop standing not ten feet from the car, she thought better of the idea. With no other choice, she scrunched her eyes and swallowed, putting the cup down in the holder between the seats.

  “Okay…what was that about?”

  “Nothing. The coffee tastes like it was made with vinegar,” she answered with a grimace, wiping her mouth on the cuff of her jacket.

  Jack shook his head. “I told you the coffee didn’t smell right back at the rest stop.” Giving her a sideways glance, he smirked. “But that’s what you get for trusting that bulb in the middle of your face, instead of my finely tuned instrument.”

  Shooting him a look, she huffed. “Bulb? Really?” Rummaging in her small leather backpack for a mint or a piece of gum she mumbled, “…and Rissa wonders why you’re still single.”

  “I heard that, and for the record, I do just fine with the ladies, thank you very much.”

  “Yeah, you’re a real charmer. Why don’t you work that magnetism and slide us on over to the curb at the next light? I should take it from here. After all, this is my neck of the woods, right?”

  His lips curled into a smile, even as his hands curled tighter around the wheel. “I don’t think so. I’ve seen the way you drive, and Sean made me swear I’d get you there in one piece.”

  The light changed, and Jack eased the car forward, but hit the brakes as a gypsy cab cut across two lanes of traffic aiming for the exit. With an aggravated sigh, he added, “He didn’t, however, say anything about me arriving in one piece.”

  The cop standing on the brick medium next to the crosswalk blew his whistle. “Move it, buddy! Whaddaya waiting for, an invitation from the Mayor?” he shouted, waving at Jack to get going.

  Leaning on his horn, Jack maneuvered around the cab that half blocked his lane. “Jesus Christ! Who designed this city? Gridlock my ass!” He rolled down the window. “It’s called a signal, you asshole!” he yelled at the cabby, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel. “This is crazy! I can’t believe you choose to live here and own a car! I mean, really, what the fuck?”

  If Jack didn’t relax, he’d steer them straight into Battery Tunnel, merrily on his way to the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway instead of Lily’s apartment on Jane Street in the West Village. She smiled to herself at the thought of Jack trying to navigate their way back from there.

  Chuckling, Lily glanced over as he flipped another driver the bird. She froze. Holy shit! His knuckles were hairy. Like, furry hairy! “Um, Jack?” she choked. “I think we need to pull over somewhere.”

  He shot her a look. “Why? In this traffic, are you nuts? Are you all right?”

  Lily bit the inside of her cheek. “Um…yeah, I’m fine, but it’s not me I’m worried about.” Lily’s eyes flicked from his face to his hands, and then back again.

  Annoyed, Jack’s eyebrows knit together in a confused frown. His eyes tracked her curious gaze to his hands, and his mouth spread into a huge grin. “Lily, your face! Ha, ha, ha...Holy crap do you have a lot to learn about shifters! What, did you think I was going to phase while behind the wheel? I can just see the tabloid headlines—NYC Traffic Gone to the Dogs.”

  “Well, what did you expect me to think, when your hands look like they’re growing a pelt?”

  “The unflappable, Lily Saburi, freaked out by a set of hairy knuckles. Makes me wonder what we’re in for over the next few days when the moon is completely full. It’ll be fine, family fun, don’t you think?”

  Lily crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Not funny, Jack. If this a preview of the way things are going to be while we’re thrown together, then you’d better get used to driving with one eye open, ‘cause I’m going to blacken the other one shut.”

  Jack smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Come on, Lily, you cut your teeth on things way hairier than my knuckles. Trust me; it’s nowhere near a sign of things to come. But you have to understand that between the stress of the drive, where the moon is in its cycle, and your scent, my nature was bound to manifest in some way. After all, I may be in control, but I’m not immune.”

  “My scent? Oh no, not now, not you too.” She slumped back against the seat, leaning her head back.

  “I thought Sean talked to you about this?”

  Lily shot him a look, but at her pained expression, he laughed even louder. “Don’t worry; I’m not going to start humping your leg or anything. It’s just the moon is waxing, and the closer it gets to being full, the more I sense things. But you’re fine, trust me.”

  Even less sure about this, than before they left the compound, Lily didn’t say a word. She exhaled quietly and turned her eyes back toward the traffic. A half hour later, they pulled onto Lily’s Street, only circling the block once before finding a parking space.

  “I’ve got to check in with Sean first, and then I’ll bring up the bags. You know how he is, he made me promise to call the minute we arrived,” he said, walking around toward the trunk. “I’m sure he wants to fill me in on what’s going on back home, as well. Parr has to be having a field day now that you left. I don’t trust the bastard. It sucks how fine a line Sean has to walk these days. It’s not right. Not for an Alpha.”

  Lily followed him to the back of the car. “No problem. Just tell him I’m being a good girl, and following your instructions to the letter.”

  Jack snorted, putting the key in the lock and popping the trunk. “Yeah, right. You forget he knows you probably better than you know yourself, and he’ll trust matters more if I tell him how mu
ch of a pain in the ass you’ve been. All’s right with the world when you’re the bitch we all know and love.”

  Oh, come on! I’m not that bad,” she said with a frown.

  Jack raised one eyebrow.

  At his skeptical look, she couldn’t help but smile. “Okay, maybe I do have my moments, but that’s what makes me so special.”

  “Ha! Why don’t you make yourself useful and go grab some groceries? I’m sure there’s nothing but a box of baking soda in that fridge of yours. I’ll be right behind you. I’m not sure how long he’s gonna keep me talking.”

  Jack handed her a wad of cash, and Lily shoved it in the front pocket of her jeans. “Anything in particular you want? Dog biscuits, a rawhide bone?”

  “Funny. I guess you want to carry your own suitcases upstairs, huh,” he said, reaching in for the biggest bag and lifting it out of the trunk with ease.

  With a wry grin, she hiked her pack onto one shoulder. “No, that’s what Sean sent you for.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I live to serve,” he mumbled, flourishing a mock bow.

  Chuckling, she headed across the street to the Korean market on the corner, stopping at the curb to look up at the red brick apartment house she had called home for the past five years.

  Lily hadn’t been here since she pulled away from the same curb a week after Terry’s funeral, hell-bent on killing the creature that killed her best friend. The same creature that turned out to be Sean’s brother, Jerard.

  She sucked in a deep breath, and headed into the market.

  “Don’t forget coffee!” Jack shouted from across the street, and Lily looked back over her shoulder to wave, but he was already on his cell phone.

  With two bags of groceries in tow, she crossed the street, passing Jack as he unloaded the last of the bags onto the sidewalk. Sean had obviously kept him talking the whole time she had been in the store, and she cringed, wondering just what the hell else was happening up at the Compound.

  She unlocked the vestibule door and stepped through onto the black and white subway tiles of the main lobby. She glanced up the stairs and then back over her shoulder at the small but heavy pile of luggage out on the sidewalk. The building was a five-floor walkup, so regardless of how hairy they were, she was grateful for Jack’s supernaturally strong arms.

  The hallway smelled of street dirt and Pine-Sol, with an underlying scent of sesame oil from the Chinese takeout next door. She was home.

  The lobby door opened. “Where do you want these?” Jack asked, carrying all the bags at once.

  “Fifth floor,” Lily said shoving her leather keychain into his mouth. “I’ve got the penthouse.”

  “Great,” he mumbled and started up the stairs, her keys jingling from his teeth.

  “Wait! I need the mailbox key.”

  Jack put two of the bags on the step and tossed her the set of keys.

  She wiped the wet teeth marks on her pants, unhooked the brass colored key and tossed the rest back up. “The square key with the black rubber grip is the key to my apartment. I’ve got the whole fifth floor.”

  Jack growled, keys jingling from his mouth again.

  With a chuckle, she put the grocery bags on the floor and unlocked the mailbox. A rush of envelopes and magazines fell in a clutter at her feet, with the rest crammed all the way to the back of the narrow box. She sighed. “Two months’ worth of junk mail and overdue bills.”

  She pulled the key from the lock, and reached inside for the rest. Stuck to the opposite side of the door was a note, and one look told her exactly who from.

  Lily—

  I’m so sorry about Terry. With the mail piling up, I figured you were away trying to sort things. Not to worry. Been keeping the rest down at the post office until you get back. My prayers are with you—Henry

  Tears pricked at the corners of Lily’s eyes. Terry’s death had left a hole in her heart the size of her fist, which no one could fill. Not even Sean. She was better, but she’d never fully get over it.

  With a deep breath, she stuck the note in her pocket and bent to gather the letters from the floor. “It doesn’t cost anything to be nice,” she whispered, repeating the words Terry had said after taping a thank you gift for Henry to the inside of the mailbox before their trip to Maine. The trip that left Terry dead and Lily’s life changed for good.

  She picked up her grocery bags, adjusting her backpack before heading up the stairs.

  Jack had left the door ajar. Guess the big bad wolf needed a lesson on life in the big, bad city. She nudged the door the rest of the way open with her foot. “Hey! How about a little help,” she called, struggling in with the groceries and the mail now overflowing from the top of the paper bags.

  “What’s all that?” Jack asked, coming out of the bathroom.

  “My mail.”

  “I guess you never got the chance to put it on hold, huh,” he said, taking one of the bags from her.

  “Ahhh...no,” she said, putting the other bag and her backpack down on the kitchen table.

  “Nice place, Lily. With the stories you hear about New York rents, I didn’t expect it to be so big.”

  With her hands folded across her chest, Lily looked around the apartment. “Thanks.” Wrinkling her nose, she rubbed the end of it with her knuckle. There had to be at least a half inch of dust on everything.

  Stifling a sneeze, she pinched the end of her nose between her fingers, her eyes watering in the process.

  “Oh, that’s classy.”

  “Trust me, sneezing would only make it worse,” she said, taking the box of tissues he’d rummaged from one of the shopping bags.

  Lily blew her nose, and walked into the living room. Except for the dead plants and the cobwebs, it was just as she and Terry had left it, down to the empty ammo boxes on the coffee table.

  The apartment might be huge by New York standards, but it was crammed with memories. Everywhere she looked there were poignant reminders of where her life had been, in contrast to where it was now. On top of everything else, the word full blinked across the answering machine’s digital lcd, and she cringed inwardly, wondering how many were messages about Terry that she’d yet to listen to.

  Jack leaned on the arm of the sofa, his arms crossed in front of him. “How about you take a shower, and I’ll make us something to eat.”

  Lily exhaled, watching the tall, dark haired Were watching her. Perhaps Sean was right. Whatever Jack’s function, she was glad she didn’t have to face the emptiness of the apartment alone. Nodding, she gave him half a smile. “Sounds like a plan.”

  ***

  Lily grabbed one of her suitcases, and headed down the hall toward her bedroom. Terry’s door was to the right, and she hesitated as she passed. The two had been roommates since college, but had been friends forever. A born pack rat, Terry saved mementos from almost everywhere she went, cramming them into every nook and cranny. Now the small ten by twelve room was bare, except for the plain oak furniture. It was clear Terry’s parents had been by to collect her things, and Lily ached inwardly at the thought.

  Jack had already dropped his bags on the floor next to the bed. Lily frowned. He would have to sleep somewhere, and she knew she couldn’t relegate him to the couch, not with a perfectly acceptable bedroom available. But even logic couldn’t stop the idea from jabbing at her heart.

  “Get a grip, Lily. It’s not like he hijacked the room or anything,” she muttered, opening the closet for a clean set of sheets. She placed them on the bare mattress and took a down comforter from the chest at the foot of the bed, smoothing the top of the soft fleece as she placed it next to the linens.

  With nothing else to keep her, she turned toward the door but stopped. Terry’s room faced the street, and in the sooty glow from the streetlights outside the window, she spotted a wooden box sitting high on the tall chest of drawers in the corner of the room.

  Squinting, she walked closer, delight and sorrow dueling between her heart and mind as she realized what it was.

/>   Twice the size of a typical cigar box, she lifted the wooden rectangle off the dresser, carefully brushing the dust from the faded pictures and magazine cutouts glued to the lid.

  She and Terry had made the treasure box when the two were in fifth grade. Inside, were things they had collected and cherished, some silly, some tender, but all priceless. As time passed, Lily had lost interest in the collection, but Terry kept adding to it, year after year.

  The girls were juniors in high school when The Bourne Supremacy released in theaters, and Lily laughed, remembering how she teased Terry about her crush on Matt Damon and the sexy picture of him she glued to the top right corner of the cover. On the opposite side was a picture of Leonardo Dicaprio from the 1996 version of Romeo and Juliet, and even though it put Terry in danger of earning geek squad status, she nearly wore out the DVD with how many times she’d watched it.

  Lily swallowed against the lump tightening her throat. Terry’s parents had found a missing piece of her, of Terry, and left it for Lily to find when she finally came home. “Thank you,” she whispered into the silence. Drawing in a breath, she tucked the box under her arm and crossed the room, leaving the door ajar as she headed back into the hall.

  In her own room, everything was in its place as well, including her cell phone still in its charger. She had purposely left it behind, not wanting anyone to get in her way or hinder her plans for revenge. Not that it would have done any good.

  She sat on the bed and slid the memory box onto her nightstand. The outside edges of the rectangle and the homemade latch were fashioned with braids made from multi-colored telephone wire the girls had swiped from the back of a repair truck.

  As if it would lessen the pain, she lifted the lid slowly. Lily’s hand went to her mouth, a sad smile spreading beneath her fingers. Tears gathered, and she blinked, the droplets falling onto the back of her hand. Terry had left her a time capsule—with layer after layer of mementos and memories, a true testimony to their friendship.